The word failure, has a varied meaning of depth and understanding to all. Failure is not a terminus, it’s a process. A process that’s unwanted and unbidden, but of extreme significance to each one of us. often what’s desired by us humans, finds its way to us in ways less desirable ways. Success and attainment of goals without aberrations and impediments is not a win. A real win is a win that comes with the realisation of dreams along with turning the impediments on the path of achievement into stepping stones. I am a staunch believer in the hackneyed saying of ‘ it’s easier said than done’ and while the flowery words and preaching done above sounds good to the ear, it’s not exactly easy to apply in in life.
So to back my pulpitry with substance, I shall further proceed by narrating my own life experience, a one that’s very up close and personal to me. It’s funny how today I am writing this as a student of management, where two years ago choosing this path for my future never occurred or crossed my mind. Management as a career was not even the last option on my list, in fact, it was never on the list itself. My main aim and goal for roughly around three whole years was, getting myself into the best law school. And now that I look back, committing to a single goal and giving every minute of my three years to breathing and living that dream, seems so exhausting. Needless to say, things didn’t go according to the plan I had chartered for myself after watching suits. And while the regret of not doing what I was so passionate about is there, and will stay for a long time to come, I don’t regret being put through a phase where every door seemed to shut on my face. That time still sends shudders down my spine even by the meagre thought of it. But the outcome was paramount. I learnt so much in those two months of clutch, and they play a major role in my today’s outlook towards things. The universe works out in amazing ways, by opening doors to opportunities we thought we never had access to. We start exactly when we think it’s time to stop. New doors only open when others shut. It may sound out of the ordinary that we experience manifestation only when we go through a loss, but that is exactly how we attract the energies to move on and pursue a new goal. By holding on and not letting go, we are keeping the old and not giving chance for the new to come. There is beauty in one chapter shutting, because the pen to writing a new one is in our control, once again. Falling prey to negative vibrations of holding on leads to nothing but unhealthy obsession. The moment you lose something, that exact moment, the universe gets to it, in sending you the key to a new door. People usually slip into the down side of a loss, and tend to unsee the new start underlying the void of the end.
Letting go is an art, and it takes effort and practice, to reach a level of mastery where you gain the ability to see new directions on the same road, where you exactly got lost before. We need to trust what we believe in, and wait for things to unfold infront of us. A chapter comes to an end exactly when a new one is supposed to begin, so when we undergo the loss of our dream, it is simply for the reason, that it had exceeded it’s word limit in our story. Let go, and breathe, because we should stop pouring when a cup is full. Failure is like a hidden silver lining. But not all can see and appreciate the beauty that comes along with it. Failure brings along with it a state of fixation, sometimes obsession. At a number of occasions in our life we find ourselves in a constant state of fixity, just like a taxi stuck in a bad traffic exactly when you have planned to fly to another destination. The honking of other vehicles, the humidity, pollution and the ranting of the driver intensifies in your ears till it reaches a point of numbness and conditions you to that environment. Similar is our state of mind, on one hand we make plans to achieve our best selves, and sometimes, on the other hand, in the process of doing so we get lost. But not all who get lost, necessarily lose themselves. Conflict exists, wherever there is a disparity between your real self and your perceived self. Your perceived self might be someone you want to be in the next few years and currently working upon. The results that you perceived to get from the efforts been put in many a times do not compeer with what you expected them to be. So, you start again, to get what you worked for. This, is not sheer commitment to your goals, this is obsession which often leads to fixity. We have often heard this hackneyed saying that you ll land among the stars only if you aim for the moon. The truth be said, Perfection is a mirage. Anything close to that, is in the world of reality our ideal perfect. This is exactly where the concept of content comes in. The definition of content is different in everyone’s dictionary. While some people are content with whatever they have without putting in their best of the abilities, there are some people who aim for perfection but are satisfied with lesser perfect results. I am articulating and rooting for the latter community. There is an inducement which leads people who have put in their hardwork into their aspirations and are ‘content’ with the results, which might be not equivalent to what they aimed and worked for. It’s the surety and belief that the labour you put in was put in to your best ability that makes you at ease with results. This internalized feeling of self- belief achieves the state of being content and annihilates the prospect of dissatisfaction hence fixity in life.
When you choose a goal to be achieved in life, you choose the keys for a particular door, among many others. When that specific door doesn’t lead you to your desired destination, the keys to other doors are still always in your hand, waiting to unlock other doors and lead you to your final and coveted terminus.
While learnings from failure is extremely crucial, appraising the cause behind it holds importance of an equal degree. Sometimes we fail not because of lackings in our capacities and abilities, but the sheer thought of us failing. The seed of doubt grows into creeper for our capabilities and ambitions. Failure is an exaggerated word for our downfalls. Before the actual failure even happens, the doubt has already failed us. We all have been through pitchfalls but little do we realize that our journey down the spiral begins the day the seed of doubt is planted in our heads. As harmless and small this word seems to be, the greater is its impact on human psyche. We usually try to underplay this feeling of apprehension because it gives us discomfort, but this act of suppression leaves long term scars. Indulging in self doubt is not always destructive for a person, on the contrary it has an upside. We can, on the basis of our analysis, re-charter our course and a weave a different web of action. This is where our individual way of perceiving life comes in. We can either let doubt get its way and slowly overshadow our plans or we can convert doubt into a belief of certainty. Whenever we pursue something, we are never fully sure about it. And its okay not to be completely confident about your plan, sometimes our downfall teaches us more than success ever will. Doubt is a harmless feeling to start with, however it can be the beginning of disbelief in yourself, and disbelief is the root cause of issues. Winning approval from others is a sure boost of confidence, but till the time you don’t have faith within yourself, outside affirmations stand useless.
The journey from doubt to belief is not a cakewalk, but at the same time it’s neither an uphill task too. All we need is a little faith in ourselves and the belief that even if things don’t work out, the doors to other opportunities are still open. Its okay to fall down once in order to achieve greater ends. Seriousness towards your goals is obviously required, but making your dream an obsession ends in fiascos. Take up your goals with the aim of putting in your full efforts and growing from the experience, not deriving success out of it. Enjoy the process and little moments that life throws at you during the journey. Teachings from experiences weighs more than achievements. For the starters, begin with some faith and surety in your capabilities because doubt kills more dreams, than failure ever will.
Nishtha, Young Entrepreneur